Thoughts on Friendship

I remember it like it was yesterday. The months leading up to high school graduation were filled with promises of keeping in touch, plans made 6 months in advance, and talks of Christmas break activities we would all partake in when we were back home. Empty promises. Cancelled plans. Prior engagments.

The other night my very good friend Brooke Whitney (her name isn't Whitney anymore, but this is blog so I make the rules here) was in town from Lubbock. Laura (my other very good friend) and I made our way to Northwest Arkansas for dinner with Brooke. Despite not seeing Brooke since my wedding, the gap of time did not seem to effect our time together. We picked up conversations just like we were 19 again. We talked of pretty much all of the same topics of yesterday with a few nouns and verbs replaced with other more sophisticated ones. We didn't find our time awkward. We didn't feel like we had nothing left to discuss. We were very much as we used to be. It was refreshing to know that some things don't change as quickly as others.

On the drive home, I started thinking about why the majority of the time relationships that face thousands of miles of distance don't work nearly as well as Brooke, Laura, and myself. I decided the issue is this...when you don't see someone for months at a time, you are forced to pick up on the last day you were with them. For instance, when I graduated high school and then we all went our separate ways, we were forced to miss out on all of the experiences of the first semester of college without a continual communcation and analysis of these activities. When I saw you over Christmas, we were still seniors in high school even though we were so far from that place. I see people now who I felt like I knew really well in high school or even college and find myself downright confused as to where the person I once knew has gone. Life happens to us in the absence of each another and people are forced to fill those gaps of time one way or another. I run into people who I remember as uptight and conservative who now ramble on about partying and sex. I run into people who were the biggest whores I ever knew who now have 3 kids and a husband (granted the 3 kids could have stemmed from their previous life). Nonetheless, I have these experiences often.

Anywho, I guess my point is this. People change. People literally change what they believe, how they act, and who they are. It is rare to find people who either don't change much or change in a way that allows you to pick up conversations where you left off months ago. My only reservation I ever had in marrying Cody was the understanding that 23 year old Katy Schrodt will not be the same as 33 year old Katy Prater. I have always wondered how married people some how avoid the growing up process without growning apart. However, I decided after 5 years of being with Cody that you simply need to have the big things set in concrete. If you're a genuine person at 18 you probably will be at 28. If you're a funny person now, you will probably always be. If you're a sweet and loving person, you will probably be that as well. So maybe the relationships that last are the ones that you care enough to remember the big things that you appreciated before. The details of life are only the icing on the cake. It's the character traits that I appreciate in the people I love. So when you can, find a person that you used to know and try your hardest to pick up where you left off. Because maybe it was husbands and jobs that we dealt with last Wednesday, but it felt as enjoyable as boyfriends and class. It's less about the topics of conversation, and more about the people you're talking to.