2012

I sat down to write today with a couple ideas in mind. I could write my obligatory New Year's Resolutions post, or I could write a post recapping 2012. I could also write a post about Christmas and all the fun that entailed (snow!!!). However, I don't know what I want to accomplish in 2013 quite yet. When I started thinking back on 2012, I literally couldn't think of one significant thing that happened to me. Scary, right? And I have determined Christmas for two 26-year-olds without children is kind of like a piece of cake with no icing. There is definitely something left to be desired.

The one thing that did come to mind when I was thinking about all of the end of the year activities that have been happening lately is that I feel like 2012 has been a really weird year for my family and me. We spent the first half of the year still very much feeling the effects (or is it affects? I for some reason have never figured this out) of my mom's cancer diagnosis that happened in May 2011. My mom was pretty sick the first half of 2012. There were numerous doctor's visits and trips to M.D. Anderson to try to get her health under control. The first half of the year was awful to be honest. It was hard. In turn, I don't really remember much about those months. I guess part of coping for me is focusing on each individual day as if those twenty four hours are the only ones worth worrying with.

In January of this past year, I did find out I had been selected to coach in the Arkansas All-Star volleyball game that they hold at the U of A campus each summer. I remember being so excited that I was voted to be a coach. I remember worrying that my mom would not be healthy enough to come watch me at the game (the match was in June). I remember feeling so much like a teenager again - wondering if my mom would be able to be somewhere I wanted her to be. It was a bummer.

However, the second half of 2012 certainly turned around. My mom's health has improved so much since a year ago. My mom was in fact in attendance at the all-star game this past summer, and she has continued to feel better and get stronger ever since. If you didn't know she had cancer, you would never suspect it. I am so proud of her for hanging in and fighting to get healthy. It wasn't easy or pleasant for anyone involved, but it was necessary.

2011 went from good to bad on April 22nd when my mom was diagnosed. 2012 followed the exact opposite pattern because of my mom's successful treatment. The past two years are evidence that I have no idea what 2013 will hold. I don't know what will happen in these next twelve months, but I do know that whatever it is, it will be what is supposed to happen. There will be good things and there will be bad. Regardless of the circumstances, a year from now when I sit down to reflect on another year, I want to feel like I have done my best to appreciate all the days of 2013 - the good, the bad, the indifferent. I think it's important to be present for every kind of day that might come along. It makes the good better and the bad a little less. The indifferent days in between must be for catching your breath.

Maybe I just wrote my New Year's resolution post after all.