Copenhagen - Day 3

Sunday was our final full day in Copenhagen. We decided to venture outside the city to the Louisiana Museum of Modern Art. A 30 minute train ride (after our first train ride did not take us to our desired destination...whoops) allowed us to see a bit of the Danish countryside and a really interesting museum. I am the first to admit that I am not much of an art fan. I lack even minimal knowledge about really any type of art; however, modern art is much more accessible to me. The museum that we spent our day at was perched on the shore of the Baltic Sea with grounds that were as interesting as the actual exhibits. It was really cool.

We happened to see a man jump in the ocean on this particular day. He looked a bit chilly.

Oddly enough, one of the exhibits at the museum was all about the arctic. It had works of art associated with the exploration of the arctic over the years. It had life-size stuffed polar bears, stories about famous explorers, videos of some of the most vivid Northern Lights footage, and an underlying message about the harmful changes associated with global warming. There were also numerous pieces associated with an immersion into the elements of the arctic. We stood in a pitch black room with only the sounds of glaciers melting. We watched a haunting video of a man hiking at night through inner Iceland with the actual sound of the wind (a concept I more fully understood later in our trip). It was really interesting and added to our excitement about our upcoming three days in Iceland. We both left the museum with what the exhibit referred to as "white fever;" the undeniable interest to experience what was once an untouched part of the world, despite the understanding of how dangerous it could be. And man, we wanted to see the Northern Lights. 

Sunday night was spent playing Canasta in our warm and comfortable hotel lobby. The Chicago Bears were playing the Packers in a very important NFL game and by some stroke of luck, the game was being showed on Copenhagen cable. It was nice to sit by a fireplace in a cozy hotel lobby and watch a little football. Cody especially appreciated that his world traveling did not require him to miss any NFL football...although it turns out that the Bears can suck no matter what continent on which you watch them. 

One last thing about Copenhagen that we thought was pretty funny involved Cody's latest gadget. We recently bought a Go Pro camera to play around with. Cody ended up being in charge of the footage from our trip and decided to spend some time with a camera strapped to his head. People in Copenhagen looked at Cody as if he had two heads. It was pretty funny. After a while he wasn't even filming stuff and instead freaking people out. Silly Americans. 

In their defense, he does look sort of creepy. 

Copenhagen - Day 2

Our first full day started with brunch at a cafe called Kalaset across the street from our hotel. The food was different but good. Even Cody made do despite his pickiness which is always amplified in another country. 

My only food picture from the trip. I promise.

We spent the rest of the day walking the streets and exploring more of the city. I made a concerted effort during this portion of our trip to avoid planning every minute of everyday. Since Copenhagen was literally decided upon according to the cheapest airfare available in connection with Iceland, I had spent much less time dictating what to do.

After brunch, we found Rosenborg Castle within the city. I like castles (who doesn't?) so we spent an hour or so exploring the grounds and the interior. There was lots of history associated with the castle, but I'm not going to bore you with the details. 

There was a moat that we thought was really cool. Then we noticed it didn't go all the way around the castle. I don't know about that. 

These two pictures explain how historically minded Cody and I are and the reason why we generally stray from historical sites while on vacation. 

At night on our second day in Copenhagen we spent a few hours at Tivoli, the world's oldest amusement park. Tivoli was fun, although a bit lacking compared to my extensive time spent in Disney World. There were a lot of Christmas decorations and a lights and laser show set to Christmas music. There was hot chocolate and roller coasters and outrageously priced fair food. It was fun for a couple hours.

We finished our day with a few hours spent back at our brunch restaurant from earlier in the day. I think it must have been the irresistible atmosphere of Kalaset that sucked Cody and I into its sunken door on Saturday night. While I was researching Copenhagen and Denmark, I often came across the Danish word "hygge" which is loosely translated to "cozy." Apparently, Danish people strongly believe in physical spaces that convey a welcome, warm atmosphere in which anyone feels welcome. They in fact believe in the importance of "hygge" so much that they manage to explain this concept on every travel show or article ever created. Our hotel even had a "hygge hour" rather than happy hour every evening. Danes are all about coziness and our Saturday night in Copenhagen was proof of this. 

Kalaset on this particular evening had steamy windows and a DJ playing old school American hip hop (think . We got lost in a corner of the restaurant with all kinds of languages flying around us and two for one drink specials that created a collection of hours that we didn't anticipate experiencing. Cody and I laughed and talked and drank in (literally and figuratively) one of those unforeseen perfect nights that wrap you up in its soft arms for a few hours that felt really easy. We finally staggered back to our hotel early in the morning. Pink-cheeked and giggly, we didn't know at the time that this evening of fun would result in a stone-cold sober New Year's Eve celebration only a few nights later. Needless to say, Cody and I are not cut out for late night shenanigans any longer...or maybe we never were. 

Copenhagen - Day 1

A comic book store with a red door. There were so many interesting shops with interesting facades. Very cool. 

We arrived in Copenhagen last Friday at about 3 in the afternoon. We found our hotel fairly easily after some confusion about whether to ride the train or the metro. We were tired after our 8 hour flight (despite the ambien induced few hours of sleep we had gotten), but we knew it was best if we could stay awake for a while. We ended up finding a really cool movie theater at which we watched The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. Looking back on it, Cody and I both realized that a dark movie theater was maybe not the best cure for our sleepiness; however, the cuteness of the movie theater was worth the foggy movie experience. 

The movie theater had multiple levels and Christmas decorations with enormous crystal chandeliers. Very fun. 

After the movie, a burst of energy led us on a cold walk through the streets of the city. Most of the stores were closed, but Christmas lights were everywhere and Copenhagen managed to excite us about our few days to come. 

The center of Copenhagen in designated for walking only with tons of lights and decorations, including enormous red hearts. A nice touch. 

Our rainy walk on our first night. 

Flower markets in Copenhagen.

A side street with lots of bikes. 

One of the numerous squares within Copenhagen. 

Our time spent in the city touted as home to the happiest people on earth (I mean this literally; someone did a survey) did in fact include pleasant and kind interactions for the most part. Denmark and Iceland both contained seemingly cool folks. A few things that stood out to me as we walked the streets of Copenhagen were the popularity of bikes in the city. Everyone travels by bike in a city that very obviously caters to this green form of transportation. Logically, streets full of bicycles rather than cars is a unique difference from home. I was also struck by how thin Copenhageners are - a logical by-product of bikes for cars. I think it is worthwhile to see the way people in other parts of the world exist. Copenhagen and Iceland both conveyed a true consideration for our earth and the way we live on it. I couldn't help but feel almost ashamed at the resistance that most Americans (including myself) approach the concept of our impact on the earth. Copenhagen especially has adopted government-led initiatives to be better in respect to the environment and it was a bit contagious. Other than all the nice, happy people and cute bicycles, Copenhagen was full of English speaking Danish folks who seemed to be really accepting of just about anyone and everyone. Another topic us Americans ought to get behind. 

Other first impressions included lots of blonde hair, blue eyes, and tall people. We also determined that the hipster originated in Copenhagen as wide-rimmed glasses, skinny pants, and thrift store clothes were the norm. Fine food and throwback versions of everything were also considered cool. Needless to say, Cody and I felt acutely American and acutely out of the loop, but that's okay. 

Plane Truths

I'm on a flight home from a week in Denmark and Iceland. The decision to go on this trip was impulsive. Cody and I decided on Reykjavik for a New Year's Eve destination only because of a happened-upon article about fireworks in Iceland. We discussed the logistics of the trip for a few hours and then jumped in. Booked some flights. Found some hotels. Decided to wander through Copenhagen for a few days also. This entire experience is completely unlike me. The older I get the more I crave control. The more I want to know what each day consists of down to the minute. I make lists of all kinds to manage menial chores I need to do. I obsessively check the weather to ensure that I am prepared for every possible scenario. I write out a weekly schedule on a board stuck to my refrigerator. I like seeing my life in a neatly presented list of days and times. This compulsion for control and the ability to forecast my every move is useless and unnecessary. I know this. Nonetheless, it is part of who I am. I handle the uncontrollable parts of my life by establishing a death grip on all the rest. 

I happen to be married to a guy who is the exact opposite of predictable and controlled and organized. Cody revels in freedom and a lack of a plan. It has taken nearly a decade for me to bestow even the smallest appreciation for a plan and routine in the life of Cody Prater. In a lot of ways, Cody is the reason why I am getting to gaze at a setting sun 30,000 feet above an snow-covered Greenland right now. He is the reason I agreed to venture to the frozen tundra rather than the familiar warm beach. He is the reason I have spent hours walking the streets of Copenhagen and getting lost in mood lighting and vodka. He is the guy who tried (unsuccessfully) to teach me how to drive a standard engine car late at night in a parking lot in Reykjavik. He brought me to a road side in Iceland beneath the Northern Lights. He allowed me this brief window of a plan-less existence that took us to the middle of Iceland without a human to be found and winds that literally almost blew our car off of an icy road on our way to parts of this world that I thought were only in movies. He somehow always finds a way to be the support I need to do things that are not naturally hardwired for me to do. And it is days that take me 30,000 feet above the earth on a plane chasing the setting sun when I appreciate this guy a little more than the days planned out on my refrigerator door. 

New Year's Eve

Every year when New Year’s Eve rolls around, Cody and I are always at a bit of a loss for exciting things to do. A couple of years ago we went to an OKC Thunder game on New Year’s Eve, which was the coolest thing we’ve ever accomplished to ring in the new year (with the exception of a fateful night in college that involved my best friend losing her shoes and taking incriminating pictures that will haunt her forever). Cody and I always find ourselves a bit underwhelmed by New Year’s Eve, and in turn, welcome a new year with a pathetic whimper rather than a celebratory bang.

However, thanks to Twitter and my obsession with travel sites, Cody and I have signed up for a New Year’s celebration to counteract our years of lameness. Drum roll please….

Cody and I will be spending the final night of 2013 in Reykjavik, Iceland. Yes, you read that correctly. Cody and I are going to the frozen tundra in the dead of winter in hopes of seeing glaciers, waterfalls, bonfires, and most of all the allusive Northern Lights. This crazy plan all started with a tweet about the coolest places to celebrate NYE. Reykjavik was amongst other interesting locations like New York City and Paris to ring in the New Year. Reykjavik has around four hours of daylight during December and January, which results in a nearly continuous explosion of fireworks. Icelanders also light bonfires to burn witches (weird, I know) and shed the baggage from a year passed. Something I certainly feel like I could get into.

Because Iceland is cold and dark, we are also going to spend a few days in Copenhagen before ending up in Reykjavik. I was a little worried about how much jetlag and darkness and freezing temperatures I could endure. Four days is about what I decided.

Needless to say, we are super excited about all of this. There’s something about crossing an ocean that really makes me feel alive. And naturally, Cody is my favorite ocean-crossing partner in the world.

Here’s to the end of 2013 and an exceptional beginning to the next. Maybe 2014 will prove as noteworthy as our celebration to begin it.

I'll leave you with a few pictures of all of these places so you can envision what in the world we are getting ourselves into.

Reykjavik, Iceland

Copenhagen, Denmark

The Blue Lagoon...a geothermal pool in Iceland.

And finally, the Northern Lights. Maybe we'll get lucky and catch a glimpse.

 

Katy Vs. Her Ovaries - Odds Are...

Recently, I went out to eat to celebrate a friend’s birthday. There were four other couples at this dinner, plus Cody and me. Among those five married couples, there were three children and another on the way. At some point in the night, I looked down the table and saw three mothers tending to three children. Oddly, this moment of maternal affection suddenly made my current baby situation make a little more sense to me. I realized that in in a group of young, seemingly healthy people there has to be someone who falls victim to the natural odds of fertility. Out of five couples, I realized that Cody and I happen to be the one out of however many people who struggle to have a child. We have fulfilled those odds. In other words, the rest of you baby-making fools can thank us for your little bundle of joy.

As I continued to sit at that dinner table, I started to make note of all of the parts of my life that fulfill some meaningless statistic. I thought about breast cancer and heart disease and depression. I thought about addiction and above average height and terrible eye sight. I pretty much threw myself a pity party that started with an innocent glance down a table and ended with my having eaten approximately half a dozen rolls to alleviate the pain associated with all of the crappy odds that exist in my life.

Now, in the past this is where this story would end. I would have gone home, continued to drown my pity in carbs, and moved on with my life. However, there is a new Katy Prater floating through the universe these days, who tries to balance her propensity for  “I-hate-the-world” moments with a much more appreciative and grateful attitude that focuses on all the goodness around her. In the time after I ran out of rolls, I decided to make note of all of the positive statistics of which my life consists. I thought about my family and supportive parents. I thought about my marriage and college degree and job. I thought about my house and health and happiness. I thought about how my life is far more privileged and magical than I could ever deserve, and I realized that we all have to fulfill some sort of odds. Each of us carries an albatross around our necks, and I suppose it is how we respond to that stupid bird that ends up being significant.

With the rest of my evening, I held those babies that my friends care for on a daily basis. I asked questions about pregnancy and child care and school and deciding to have more than one of those little creatures. I told my friends that their kids were adorable (because they are) and was grateful that I get to spend time with sweet babies who were created and are cared for by the good people in my life.

As I walked away from the restaurant that night with my husband’s hand in mine, I felt a little more acceptance of my current situation. I held Cody’s hand a little tighter. I appreciated him being there a little more. I loved him a little better. I continued to pay attention to all of the goodness around me because I am slowly starting to accept that we must revel in who we have right now. I can’t keep focusing on what may or may not happen after Lupron or after my mom’s chemo quits working or after I get pregnant. Those are all worries for another day. We must absorb all of the good in preparation for another day. And we must never, ever let the rolls run out. 

Katy Vs. Her Ovaries - Plan B

I went last week to get my final Lupron shot. In other words, I am at the beginning of my last thirty days of the medicine. The two months that I have been on the medicine have flown by. Between enduring the craziness of a new school year and all that comes with Fall, I haven't hardly thought about Lupron or babies or my lack thereof. The longer I am on the medicine the more side effects I am experiencing. I have hot flashes everyday now. I am also having some bone pain which is common. I go back November 3rd to speak with Dr. Bell about the next plan of action.

I am so ready for life to slow down a bit in the next couple of weeks. I am excited for the end of volleyball season so that I won't be working so much, and I can enjoy some free time. However, I am a little worried about a slow down. Christmastime the past few years has been the time of year when having a baby really interests me. It's something about a holiday season with a family full of adults that leaves folks asking a lot of questions about coming up with some children to open presents the next year. Certainly it's more fun to watch a kid tear open a package than my thirty year old brother. No offense, Jared.

In the past few months, I have sort of pushed the idea of parenthood out of my mind. I knew that I had three months where getting pregnant was not an option, and instead all I had to was worry with work and graduate classes and other normal stuff. It's been nice. I haven't missed negative pregnancy tests. I haven't missed counting days and trying to interpret the inner-workings of my body. I have just been me without so much guilt about not being able to get pregnant. The break has been appreciated.

So, I'm left with facing the next step, whatever it might be. I realize that in order to have a child I will have to at least try. That magical dream of just turning up pregnant no longer exists anywhere inside of me. I have accepted that this story is going to unfold differently than I originally anticipated. And I've accepted that everything associated with getting pregnant unfolds in thirty day intervals. Slow, lonely, frustrating thirty day intervals.

The volleyball team that I coach played a tournament this weekend at the high school I attended. In the halls of the school are some plaques and trophies that I won years ago. Some of my players were looking at the plaques and called me over to ask me some questions about playing sports. After we were done talking, I stood in that hall looking at those plaques that I won almost a decade ago. I felt a sense of envy thinking back on my seventeen year old self who never wondered what my purpose was. I never questioned if playing sports was what I was meant to do. I could use wins and losses and points scored and newspaper articles as proof that I was doing something worth doing. Being an athlete was always so easy for me. I suddenly really missed having something in my life so inevitable.

I couldn't help but feel a little deflated at the realization of who I am today compared to who I was ten years ago. For whatever reason, I don't get a ton of satisfaction out of being a teacher and coach. I don't feel immense pride for waking up each day and going to work. I don't feel like I am accomplishing much by taking Master's classes. I don't feel like I am doing much to speak of in this world. Sometimes I feel like I am just treading water, staying afloat until something significant happens. I have always told myself that one day I will have a child and the lack of direction and purpose in my current situation will suddenly be swallowed up by this tiny human that Cody and I create. I have always assumed that being a mother is the next big thing, and perhaps the only big thing. Standing in that familiar hallway yesterday I was forced to start considering a Plan B that doesn't involve motherhood the way I envision it.

And then the thought of a Plan B jogged my memory to a time years ago before I was married to Cody in which I enlisted the emergency contraceptive Plan B in a feverish meltdown over the .0001% possibility of getting pregnant without technically have sex. Yes, this truly happened, my friends. I have always been so supremely confident in my reproductive abilities (or perhaps unhealthily scared of being judged for an unplanned pregnancy) that I assumed I was pregnant before losing my virginity.

My name is Katy and I am neurotic and out of control and absolutely befuddled at the idea that I cannot get pregnant.