So, it snowed in Fort Smith, Arkansas on Christmas Eve this year. That is like the most unlikely occurrence ever. Luckily, I have the most overprotective parents a 23 year old could ask for, and somehow ended up sleeping at my parent's house on Christmas Eve. This is not an unusual thing for me. In fact, I think I stayed a couple of nights last year over Christmas. I had decided no more of that this year. I live all of 3 miles from my parent's home anyway, so I thought I would be an official adult and stay at my duplex but the snow changed my plans. I learned after I graduated high school and went to college that "home" as I knew it before I moved out of that house is never the same again. This year I was again reminded of this.
As I sat on my newly made bed (thank you mother) Thursday night, I couldn't help but dig through drawers and look at stuff I used to be so intricately connected to. There are trophies and pictures and newspaper articles and tshirts and everything that was once me in that room. It's weird. It's eery. I couldn't help but realize that next year I will no longer be Katy Schrodt. Not that I am the Katy Schrodt that decorates those walls now, but next year I literally will not be Katy Schrodt. I will be married. I will have a new name (if I so choose). I will be part of a new family and have added somebody to my own family. It struck me as really weird. Not scary. Not bad. Just weird. It is odd to me how the memories encapsulated in that bedroom are so far from who I am now. I literally feel like that room is the room of a kid. And I am no longer a kid. I don't talk to those people. I don't play those games. I don't take credit for those acocmplishments. I have new accomplishments and new people. Although, no new games. Either way my time in that room left me a bit nostalgic. I feel like all of the other milestones of my life have been very much predicted long in advance. Marriage is not one that my family or I have ever put a date on. I chose this one on my own. It's a bit unnerving and yet very exciting at the same time. I want to be part of a new family. I want Cody to be part of mine. I'm okay with changing my name (sort of okay) because I know my name does not define me.
Nonethless as I turned out my light and looked up to the ceiling with the fake stars from 1999 that have glowed in the dark above my head for over a decade, I couldn't help but wonder where the time went. I giggled at the thought of all of the nights I went to sleep worrying over an essay due or an upcoming game or other typically high school thoughts. I felt oddly in tune with the students I teach. And oddly old. The world has officially come full circle and I can't decide if I like it or not. The solace I took from my night spent at home is this: there will always be new worries and new obstables and new milestones to remember. I am so appreciative to still have my overly protective parents and irresponsible older brother at home over Christmas. And I am thankful to have a guy like Cody to call my own and put an end to all of the late night star-gazing that often revolved around finding a guy who wasn't a complete idiot. Things are good regardless of what year it is.
Okay, in order to tie this back into my wedding planning, I need a new bridesmaid dress and I am soon to do a cake tasting. That shall suffice =).
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