"Not the Bow Type"

I'm sick of planning this wedding. I'm sick of the tiny details that I have to make a decision about, despite the fact that I care nothing about those details. I want other people to tell me what will look the best or sound the best or be the best. And yet, at the exact time I want to make every single decision there is to be made, because let's be honest, I am the best decision maker there is.

On that note, I went to rent chair covers and a dance floor this weekend with my parents. We walked into this store where we were bombarded by chaos of wedding crap everywhere. There was pink and purple and red and every lovey color you could think of attacking me from every direction. There were all of these bubbly, giddy chicks asking for the most cliche crap to set off their cliche weddings. I was a bit overwhelmed and certainly uninterested in the process. At the beginning of this process, I didn't realize my Saturday afternoons would be devoted to chair covers.

Nonetheless, Misty swoops in to tell my parents and me my colors are impossible to order and that I am already way behind on booking all of these things. We proceed to learn about the exhilarating topic of chair covers when Misty has the nerve to ask me if I'd like bows on the back of my chairs. Before I even had a chance to open my mouth all the way, she says, "You don't look like the bow type." What in the heck is that supposed to mean? Am I not the bow type because I don't want a chocolate fountain and fluffy pink crap on every inch of my wedding? Am I not the bow type because I wasn't excited about chair covers on a Saturday? Am I not the bow type because I did not plan my wedding when I was eleven and a half years old and in love with Billy Bob who sat three rows up and to the left of me?

Ugh. Weddings. I don't know what I think about this entire process. The more I thought about my experience with chair covers and Misty's unwarranted analysis of what type of person I am, the more I realized perhaps me not being the bow type is the least of this. Am I even the wedding type? Am I the big white dress type? Am I the all eyes on me type? I don't know. I'm not sure if this wedding is what I (or more importantly we) want, or if it's what everyone else wants so we are doing it too.

Since this experience with chair covers, I have tried to step back from the planning frenzy and find my way back to me and Cody. Because I don't think I alone am the wedding type girl. But that is why I love Cody Prater, because with Cody by my side I realize I am a wedding girl. I am the big white dress, all eyes on me, someone take my picture type of person, because Cody and I together are worth celebrating. I will wear that big white dress and I will wear it as good as, no, better than everybody else. There is one wedding in store for me, God willing, and Cody and I are going to do it upright. Together we are very much worth gathering in the name of love and happiness and all that is good in this world.

So no, Misty, I am NOT the bow type. But for this one day in history, I am going to be that bride that embodies what being a bride is about, whether there are bows involved or not.