DateNight

Last Saturday night Cody and I went and watched the movie “Date Night” with Steve Carell and Tina Fey. I was a bit skeptical at first (often I think comedies are just stupid instead of funny) but was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked the movie. The movie was based off of a couple (Steve Carell and Tina Fey) and their trials of being married with children and jobs and way too much to do to focus on their relationship with one another. I couldn’t help but feel like the movie was screaming at me (and Cody for that matter) with all of the parallels I could make between the movie and my life recently.

Tina Fey in the movie is an overly controlling, “I’d rather do it myself,” stop wasting my time, I have too much to do type of wife/mother. Steve Carell played a completely capable, likable, yet somewhat irresponsible and goofy character. This combination of characters made me feel like the movie was based off of our life recently. With this wedding mess, I have been in event planning mode for the past 6 months. I have no extra time. It makes me angry when people waste my time. And I want everyone around me to recognize the efficiency with which I have to work to accomplish this grand idea I have in my mind. Unfortunately, I feel like Cody is often the person I am dealing with who I feel like is wasting my time. Cody does not live his life based off of concrete deadlines. He has goals, but they are somewhat flexible goals and goals that deal with only himself generally. He doesn’t worry with details or being precise. He always just meanders into success, while I have to plot a path, calculate the wind resistance, call ahead to ensure the finish line is in the exact spot I have listed, and maintain a focus and persistence that the other competitors often mistake for me being rude and cold.

I don’t know the solution to this problem. Cody and I work differently and yet are both very successful with the ways we work. Neither of us is going to change the way we do things, although I do try to remind myself that Cody does not frustrate me on purpose. I know I should allow Cody an opportunity to do things right, but it is so hard for me to do that. I am the queen of doing it myself because I know you won’t do it correctly. I’ve been like that all of my life. Unfortunately, Cody and I find our relationship somewhat strained at times of extreme stress (AKA wedding planning) because we are so different.

This has really started bothering me ever since the Hollywood happy ending of “Date Night” where Tina and Steve find their way back to the reasons why they are together. If there is ever a time to focus on the good in someone else, it is while you’re engaged to them! So, I have decided to start focusing on all of the good that is Cody Prater because there was a point in time when all I knew of Cody was the loveable, funny, caring, sensitive, insightful, perfect guy that I met 5ish years ago. I am trying to find my way back to the beginning of our relationship before I knew that Cody was the most unorganized, scatter-brained, un-detail oriented human on the face of the earth. I want to go back to month 2 of staying up until 4 in the morning talking about the things in life that really matter, rather than the schedule for the next day. I want to go back to month 6 when he made me a video that proved to me he paid attention to what matters. I want to go back to swimming in fountains and traveling to new places and graduating from college and being perfectly in love with one another. I feel like life has gotten in the way of me living.

I will fix this before June 19th because I realize that this is THE moment that Cody and I need to be at the height of happiness. And I will not let details and deadlines control my wedding experience. This is my new goal. And I am an exceptional goal accomplisher.