Fatal Flaw

Preface

Student 1: "What's your name going to be after you're married?"
Me: "Coach Prater"
Student 2: "I'm still going to call you Schrodt."
Me: "That's fine."
Student 1: "You can't call her Schrodt anymore because after she gets married, she'll belong to her husband."
Me: (with head shaking and a look of disbelief) Silence.

In literature, heroes of stories generally have what is termed a "fatal flaw." In other words, the one characteristic that ultimately leads to his/her downfall or at least causes them numerous problems. Every time I think of Odysseus or Caesar or any other famous character, I can't help but wonder what would be my fatal flaw. I assume each of you reading this can probably think of numerous options, but it has taken me planning a wedding to finally pinpoint my issue.

I am proud. I am cocky. I think I am better than you. I think I will win at everything. I have unrealistic expectations about the world around me, because I am certain I can do anything better than you. I am your stereotypical alpha human who cannot understand her own shortcomings. I have come to this conclusion through a couple of different wedding events, the main one being the name game.

As part of our wedding, we are going to have a friend of ours make t-shirts for all of the wedding party. They are going to be much like a jersey (imagine that, here I am back to competing) with numbers and last names on the back. I immediately knew what number I wanted (my number from high school) and logically wrote down "Schrodt" as the name that should go on the back. It took me around 3 days to realize that the shirt that I create in honor of my wedding should probably have my NEW last name on the back, rather than my current last name. Why is this so hard for me to get? Why am I not giddy at the thought of being Mrs. Cody Prater? Why do I not practice writing my new name? Why do I not want to change my name? Because I think my name is worth something...

I am slowly trying to come to peace with the idea that changing my name is not my submission to a man or society for that matter. I know that Cody is not one of those men that bosses a woman around and expects her to answer to him. I know that hyphenating or not changing my name will only perpetuate the "she thinks she's something else" attitude that I am certain some people have about me. I know this is something that 9 out of 10 women do without hesitation. I know that years from now I won't blink an eye at Katy Prater. But for now, I am saddened at the end of an era. I can't help but want to hold on to Katy Schrodt for as long as I can. I want to revel in the difficulty of it's spelling and the ridiculousness of the nicknames it opened doors to (Scrotum) and the constant mispronunciation I have encountered for years. My name will come with me to married life. Perhaps I will not sign it or say it or introduce myself twice because no one can understand it the first time, but deep inside I will always hear the magical chant of "Schrodt, Schrodt, Schrodt" and think back to a simpler, less chaotic time in life when I had only one (actually 4, dang it) name to go by.