Nagging Questions...

So, I still am not to a point where I feel like I have anything philosophical, or really anything interesting at all for that matter, to say about getting married. However, I have noticed an incessant few questions that are inevitably asked to me on a daily basis. I have decided that maybe if I answer them on this blog, a few people will get their much anticipated answers here rather than from interaction with me.

1. "How's married life?"
This is by far the most commonly asked question to me now. I'm not sure how long the interval of receiving this question lasts. 1 month, 6 months, 1 year?!? I honestly don't mind the question. I just feel like a real let down because I don't have a clever answer. I refuse to answer without sarcasm, and thus am left talking about how my life is the exact same before we were married. Here's my best shot at an answer: I have gained 9 pounds and slept more in the last month than I have in quite a while. I have cooked approximately 4 dinners and 2 breakfasts (0 lunches) in the past 4 weeks. I am not pregnant, nor do I want to be, and I like/love Cody about as much as I ever have. That is the update on married life. I don't know why I threw in the "I'm not pregnant" part. I just feel like everyone waits with baited breath for an offspring once you're married. Not. For. Me.

2. "How was the wedding?"
This is the most commonly asked question numero two (I considered writing "two" out in Spanish and then realized my English spelling skills are not bilingual). My answer is....wait for it...don't answer too quickly...don't seen too eager...you know she has something worth hearing....good. It was good. There were no enormous mishaps. Cody did not bail on me. No one tripped down the aisle. There were no fights. There were no largely embarrassing moments. It was good. Things did go wrong. I have seen the video and wished that I didn't look so uncomfortable in all of the fluff that is a wedding, but overall, it was fine. I was braced for a more traumatic experience than I received, so I consider myself lucky. As my wise mother has told me before, "Nothing is ever as bad or as good as you expect." My wedding proves this statement to be true.

3. "Has anything changed with you and Cody?"
This is generally the follow up question to number two, at which point I realize I am not getting out of this conversation without divulging some sort of uncomfortable personal information. Drumroll please....the answer is no. I generally make some convoluted reference about sex at which point everyone laughs. Other than that though, no. Things are not different. We have not fought yet (we didn't fight before we were married either). We have not done anything crazy. We have not changed every characteristic that makes up Cody and Katy. We are the same two people we were 4 weeks ago plus a marriage license and common living quarters. I realize not too exciting, but sufficient for me nonetheless.

4. "Would you do it again?"
This is a bit of a loaded question I think. Would I marry Cody again? Yes! Of course. I don't regret or second guess or worry about the actual union of people that was made official on June 19th. I am happy to be Cody's permanent (muhahahahaha) partner in crime. Now, would I get married in the same fashion as we did again? The jury is still out. I think I am still too close to my wedding to answer this fairly. I still remember all of the stress and anxiety and chaos that was created by the wedding. I often wonder if maybe running off with a few close friends and family would have been the better option. It is not that I didn't have a good time on my wedding day. There were plenty of shining moments that will inevitably stick with me for years to come. However, there are some moments that were not so shiny and down right hard to bear that are also still intact. I don't know the answer to this.

I figure it's like any coming-of-age, traditional, rite of passage sort of experience. While I sat on the football field of Southside High School sweating in my Rebel blue robe inbetween two kids I swear I'd never seen before with a graduation hat that made me feel even more conspicuous than I did as an almost 6 foot tall 17 year old, I did not understand why graduation was so important. However, as a 23 year old educator who cried at Lavaca's graduation last year, I can't help but look back fondly on that sweaty night in May. And maybe, just maybe, one day I will remember June 19, 2010 with nothing but good thoughts. Sometimes the years filter away the negativity that we (I) often allow to creep into our (my) present.

5. "What was your favorite moment of the wedding?"
This is not a really common question, but one that a few of my closer friends have asked me. I like this question, because it forces me to remember the good. I would have to say that I have a few favorite moments. Some are logical. Some are not. Precursor: I realize these next few sentences are cliche and lovey and dovey and some of you will roll your eyes. I would do the same thing if I were reading this somewhere else. Deal with it!

Favorite moment number one: walking down the aisle. I know, I know, I know. I can't believe she pulled out the walking down the aisle card. I did. However, my reasoning for liking this moment is not the conventional, "I finally got to see my handsome husband to be," reasoning. I had already seen Cody in a photographer induced creation of an aisle walking scene before the actual wedding. Honestly, I felt like it was a little bit awkward. It is hard for Cody and I to act like ourselves in tuxedoes and wedding dresses with a man taking pictures of us and various people walking through the church. However, the actual walk down the aisle was something I will remember with a smile. It was like the whole evolution of Katy and Cody getting married was finally over. I had my dad with me. I had my mom watching me. I had all of my family and friends and most everyone in this world that I love there for Cody and me. It meant a lot to me. It meant more than I guess I realized. Through all of the RSVP's and planning and hypothetical conversations about getting married, I could never grasp what it would really be like. It was bigger than I anticipated. It was right. It was something that I will hold forever. Less because of some touching moment with Cody and more for a touching moment with everyone who was there. I walked down the aisle knowing that I was nearly to the finish line and that everything was going to be okay. It was a feeling that I had been searching for since I got engaged. It was a feeling of accomplishment, of success, of goodness.

Moment two: Riding in the convertible to take pictures. Yes, it was hot as could be. Yes, I was sweating. Yes, I had on a dress. BUT, I also finally had Cody alone so that we could just be for a minute. We drove and listened to the wind and talked about the wedding and just took a deep breath before the reception started. It was good. It was fun. The car stalled numerous times, but not even a little car trouble could ruin my wedding high. It was fun.

Final moment: At the end of the night after the reception guests had left, Cody and I left to go home. I had changed from my wedding dress and Cody's bowtie was undone. The whole evening was over and everything had gone relatively smoothly. Cody and I walked out of the reception holding hands into a June night in Arkansas. It had cooled off and the wind was blowing and my shoes were in my hands rather than on my feet. We were finally off stage and back to our normal existence. As we walked to the car, Cody used a voice that only Cody uses to talk to me. It's one of those voices that every annoying couple has that make everyone around then nauseous. It is the most defining characteristic about Cody to me. When I heard him talk to me, I knew all was right in the world. I had the guy I loved. It was official. All of the stress was behind me. Within 24 hours I would be on the beach, and I was happy. That is the moment that I remember. That is the moment. The one that no one saw. The one that we have no pictures of. The one that did not involve some scripted dance or itinerary-outlined activity. That is the one that made all the rest worhtwhile.