The first month of my child's life is nothing but a blur now. I knew all along that I should have been keeping track of all of the thoughts and happenings of those early days, but I just couldn't. Sometimes all that's possible is survival. Nonetheless, I have a few things that I want to remember...
-June 12th: first doctor's visit, weighed 7.13
-June 22nd: two week check-up, weighed 8.15 (stopped waking him every three hours during the night, although he woke on his own still.)
-June 30th: doctor's visit to check on blood in stool, weighed 9.13 and 22 in. long, stopped eating dairy and soy assuming Owen had an allergy.
-makes a very cute hooting noise randomly
-likes hair drier blown on him when upset, likes bouncing on ball (Cody figured this out and it's been a lifesaver
-started calling him "Turtle" in the hospital because he looks a lot like one; this eventually led to Turtle Bud or TB or Turts or Turts and Caicos
-Around week three, Owen got pretty bad baby acne.
-around two weeks old we started worrying that Owen could not turn his head over his left shoulder; the doctor pretty much assumed it was not an issue, although we continued to worry, logically.
-June 25th: first outing besides the doctor; went to Sam's and Katie's house; also started using size 1 diapers.
-July 2nd: started making consistent eye contact
-July 3rd: I convinced myself that he smiled at me...jury is still out on whether or not this actually happened.
-July 4th: first time to Poteau to visit Mamaw and family from Louisiana; we stopped at the casino on the way back home and watched the fireworks show. I breastfed Owen in the backseat as we watched the fireworks. I think this was the first time I truly accepted that I had a child of my own.
Before I had Owen I told myself that if I could only get through the first thirty days of parenthood, I would be fine. I don't know how I chose thirty days, but this goal helped me to keep chipping away in the first few weeks. These days were HARD on me.
Between trying to learn to breastfeed, worrying about Owen's neck and his stomach/food allergy issues, my dad's completely unexpected health issues, and my pain and discomfort from labor, I nearly lost it on numerous occasions.
Cody was truly my savior during this time. He would take Owen from me when he was crying and out of control. He would wait on me hand and foot. He would wake up with me in the middle of the night and record what time Owen started feeding and for how long he fed. He read about a proper latch and critiqued our breastfeeding technique (in a useful, supportive way). He saved me. There is no doubt about it. The first month of Owen's life didn't make me love Owen; it made me love Cody more than I knew I could. I was overwhelmed and scared and really frustrated with breastfeeding for the first 2-3 weeks. Cody was always available with a supportive word or plan of action. He never acted flustered or overwhelmed himself. The man was and is a saint. I always knew he was the person I wanted to go to battle with. Having a child was the first time I have ever been so incapacitated (physically, emotionally, and mentally) that I simply let Cody do everything for me.
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| Moments after we arrived home from the hospital. We just laid the kid down in his bassinet, completely dumbfounded as to what to do next. |
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| First morning at home. The storm of emotional craziness for me hadn't arrived quite yet. |
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| First doctor's appointment. |
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| First outfit for the doctor's appointment. I still remember dressing Owen on this morning. I was alone and fascinated by the idea of dressing my child to go somewhere. Suddenly, it struck me that my life was no longer my own. |
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| Fourth of July in Poteau. The kid didn't cry once all night long. |
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| Sitting on the ball with Daddy. |
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| Baby acne at its worst. |
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| This was day thirty of Owen's life. For some reason, I remember the fog lifting some on this night. We propped him up on this pillow and talked to him and laughed at him. For the first time, I felt some of the anxiety wash away for me. |
